How's It Going to Be
by Fleur
Summary: A song fic about Vegeta leaving Bulma. I can't tell you any more or it would ruin the story. ^_^ Notes: song fic, tear jerker, and suggests sex though not a lemon


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How's It Going to Be

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Moshi moshi!

Hey! Ok this is just a short little song fic about Vegeta running from Bulma when he discovers that she is pregnant. This is the first song fic I've ever written so PLEASE don't hate me if it's bad. ~: ) I tried, I really did. The song is by **Third Eye Blind **and is called _How's It Going to Be_. I won't give this story away so I hope you like it.

I do not own Dragon Ball Z so please don't sue, I'm just a big ass fan who loves to write.

Suggests sex but no lemons here, so if you don't like non-lemons or song fics, go away.

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No tears were shed for there were no tears to weep. No sobs to scream for there were no sobs to cry. In a silent room where fights used to exist, in a darkened room where sunlight once shined sat a lovely woman whose life was broken. Her hair still held its ocean perception and here eyes still were deep as the sea but they were fazed with sadness that surrounded her beauty. Where had he gone? Where did he go? Legs pulled towards her chest to gain a feeling of someone holding her closely. Why were her eyes so dry when they are bloodshot from tears once shed? Why was her hair pressed against her head as if in a fever state? She pulled her head back wanting to scream in agony and looked up towards the ceiling that was just as pale as her life. "Please, don't go."

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I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore,   
Before you take a swing, I wonder What are we fighting for 

He flew through the endless night escaping the words of his mate. Believing the faster he flew the faster her words would disintegrate in his memory but they just pounded heavily against his thoughts. Her screams haunted him even when he was awake and conscious. His flaming hair held its high state just like he held his pride. His black eyes were glazed over with tears he could not cry. Fists balled up at his side he flew quicker trying to out run the echoes of what he was trying to escape. The sky was a beautiful midnight black and the stars reflected his princely features but nothing could show the pain the pierced and gnawed at his heart. Why did he leave her? What had he done? Still believing he had done nothing wrong her stalked out of the house trying to ignore her as she fell to her knees in a begging manner wanting him to return. No, he couldn't go back, that would crack his pride and honor. That seemed more important than human emotions.

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When I say out loud, I want to get out of this, I wonder,   
Is there anything I'm going to miss

She didn't want to open her eyes, she couldn't. Afraid of what she might see she buried her face into her hands hoping that even kami wouldn't see her. Her body racked with protruding sobs that she held fiercely back. She felt dead though she knew her time would not come for a while. Was he going to come back this time? Would he even return. "Vegeta…" she whispered through her hands. *Why does he do this to me? Why does he run away?* She understood that he could never admit his feelings but she could always tell that he loved her. She could always tell by looking in his eyes. They would widened or become narrow. They would become fiery or glazed and this time they glazed with sickly sadness. The bite mark proved she belonged to him, the unborn child that she had just discovered she would have that morning proved their relationship, but why did he run? She had said nothing wrong, she just said she was pregnant. Just told him his child was growing within her. Just asked him if he would be the father she knew he could be. He shook his head angrily. 'That is no child of mine.' Bulma shook the memory from her head. If he truly believed that then she was no mate of his.

How's it going to be, When you don't know me,   
How's it going to be, When you're sure I'm not there.

Vegeta tried to shake those horrid voices from his scarred memory. They seemed so loud in his unconsciousness that he had to stop in mid-flight to try and forget them. *That woman even haunts me when I'm awake.* he thought dreadfully. He continued on his endless flight towards whatever life may hand to him. He had abandoned her, but that wasn't the only thing he left. He had left a part of himself still in the process. His child. *But damn it, I'm not ready to be a father! I can't be! This isn't true.* His voice relentlessly repeated to him that it was OK to runaway and that his absence would most likely have no affect the child. But he didn't care. He didn't care for his blue beauty. He didn't care about how she would cry at night or worry. He could care less about how she felt. The only concern he felt was his own. His life, his well being, his honor, strength, pride. There was no room for a woman and especially for a child. Peering below he saw a forest, green and flourished. That is where he would stay for a while. Miles and hours from his _mate_. And far enough from any bond that could ever hold him back.

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How's it going to be, When there is no one there to talk to about,   
How it's going to be, 'Cause I don't care

Her legs ached as she tried to stand up. Feeling the weight of her own burden didn't help. Resting her hands upon her stomach she thought about her child. "I'm sorry little one, but you will have no father." She wanted to cry again. Her slim figure still existed but she knew soon a bulge would begin to grow as the child would slowly begin to show its existence. How would she explain it to the others? They would certainly wonder about the father. Wonder where Vegeta would have gone. Curiosity would consume them and ruin Bulma's once precious life. She walked sluggishly up the stairs. They seemed much higher and longer than they did before. Did she even love Vegeta? Maybe she was just fooling herself so she wouldn't feel so bad about sleeping with him. It was a passion thing, but they did it more than once, each time better. But she still felt like a whore, a slut and when he sunk his teeth into her neck scarring her and claiming her as his mate she forced herself to believe it was love. This situation made her see and convince herself that it wasn't love. It was never love, it was just a way to release his raging hormones. "I was fool to ever believe he felt something," Bulma muttered as she entered bedroom. The bright colors clashed with her gloominess. She should have realized it sooner. She should have seen his craving for the battlefield. He had never had room for her and would never find room for his own flesh and blood. She pounded her weak hands against the bed and made it shake for nothing more than a nano-second. Her energy had been sucked out and venom ran through her veins. Was she angry or sad, depressed or surprised? Perhaps it was just a combination of all of them but she would never know. She had to live for tomorrow though, in truth, you know you can never do that.

His relentless flight took him to a forest. His stomach growled though he wasn't hungry. He didn't need anyone, he could easily survive on his own. He paced through the forest, a place where he always found himself going to. There was something about all the trees and wildlife that calmed the wild beast that lived and breathed inside of him. A blue bird landed on a branch just above Vegeta's head. Singing its sweet melody Vegeta stared in it in awe. *Why is that thing so happy?* He watched it as it cooed and then watched it as another blue bird flew next to it singing with its song. Vegeta turned his head away from the scene. Blue, how he hated that color. Reminded him too much of a love he had lost. He raised his hand creating a miniature ki blast. Feathers flew in a frenzy then stopped as they were hit with a burning sensation. The singing stopped, the happiness ended, silence draped the forest in his wrath as he stood looking at the barbecued feathers. That was all that was left of those two beautiful birds. "Stupid birds," he mumbled, though he actually felt jealous of the two birds.

He sat down onto the ground trying to meditate. The words of a quote echoed through his mind, 'It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all.' *Gah, who even came up with that crap must've been weak.* His eyes slid shut trying to ignore and forget all his hardships that he had just encountered. Bulma was just a human that he was sexually attracted to. He made love to her, wasn't that all she needed? He held her in her sleep and ran his fingers through her hair. He drowned her blue eyes but she meant nothing. Absolutely nothing. Love was something he refused to feel.

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How's it going to be,   
Where we used to laugh, There's a shouting match

The cold wind that blew against Bulma's skin did little to make her cold or freeze her. She stood out on the balcony allowing her wet hair to freeze in the wind but she didn't shiver. Her heart hung limply in her chest clinging helplessly to life in her chest. She needed Vegeta, she needed him to hold her, to love her, to kiss her. All she wanted was a man. All she wanted was someone that would care for her. When she was little she had always dreamed about a shining prince in armor to come and whisk her away to a far away palace where she would live happily ever after. She lived in the romance novels that she bought because she discovered that their lives seemed to be better than hers could ever become. She had no excitement in her life except in her invention building, but that could never take the place of a man. She needed something physical, she needed the strength of love to guide her and then Vegeta appeared. Her prince. She can't even remember how she fell into his passionate arms and kissed him with all her breath, her eyes closed so tightly. How many times was she close to him killing her. Once on earth, once on Namek… Back on earth he disappeared into space to find Goku but returned. Then that was when it happened. Her and him found each other alone and lost late at night and Vegeta, he opened up to her telling her how about his horrible life in the few words he ever used with her. That night there was no fighting, only screams of pleasure.

Was that how it happened? Bulma's memory was so faded at that moment she couldn't even remember her own telephone number or where she kept her car keys. Did his truancy affect her that much? Was him not being in her life going to somehow kill her? She began to shake uncontrollably on her bed as she tried to lay down and curl under her covers pretending they were his arms. The silence killed her. It was loud even though silence can't be loud. She could hear her heartbeat pound forcefully against her chest willing her to find her prince. But she had to ignore it, the Prince Vegeta was gone for good leaving her with a fatherless child in a huge mansion.

Vegeta opened his eyes quickly as a vision of Bulma's tear streaked face haunted his dream. His eyes became wide in fear as he remembered her holding her hand out to him to try and take a hold of him, but he turned around and gave her his back. Her plead for him to not go replayed incessantly in his head. He stood up and growled as he walked through the forest. "Stupid Onna." The Saiyan no Ouji walked through the forest until he cam to a small clearing which he declared to be his camp. Lying in the middle and placing his hands behind his head he stared up into the stars. Searching through the sky he found a tiny empty spot in which Vegetasei used to lie. "There," he mumbled to himself, "There is my non-existing home." The crickets chirped in response and Vegeta's eyes slid shut. He silently wished for Bulma to be with him right now on this beautiful night. It was a miraculous view that contrasted with his dimness. He finally couldn't hold it back as he howled into the nightly wind, "ONNA!!!!!!!" How he missed her, how he wanted her so much and make it all better. But he couldn't do that. What was done was done and he could never go back. He closed his eyes again feeling prideless tears well up in his eyes. He tried to rest his arm over his eyes but it just forced them out. A tear, as ravishing as the stars, slid from beneath his eyelid and started its journey down his princely face. He didn't even have the strength to wipe it off but let it fall onto the forest floor. Yes, he could have gone back to Bulma and apologize, but he could never do that.

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Sharp as a thumbnail scratch,   
A silence I can't ignore

The morning sun woke up Bulma who slowly sat up in her bed. How she wished she could just sleep for all eternity. She dragged her body to the bathroom and forced herself to look into the mirror. She saw her face, lines streaked it where tears had once fallen. Her eyes had a red ring that encircled her blue depths and were bloodshot with sadness. Her hair was matted to her forehead in a feverish manner. She placed her hand upon her forehead, then on her cheeks and neck. No fever, it was just sadness that consumed her soul and body. *Who'da thought Vegeta could fuck me up so badly.* She pulled herself relentlessly into the shower trying to wash off her guilt and grief. She stared down at her body. *What is wrong with me? Why doesn't he want me?* She placed her hands on her stomach rubbing it gently. "My baby," she whispered through the running water. How she wished it would have a father and how she wished it would be Vegeta. She tried to deny the fact the Vegeta was gone for good. And though she knew she could probably find him easily, being the genius she was, she decided not to. If he really wanted to be with her and wanted to stay with her and wanted to father his own child he would come back to her. At that moment, that was the only thing that she tried to hold on to.

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Like . . The hammocks and the doorways we spent time in, Swing empty,   
Don't see lightning like last fall when it was always about to hit me.

Vegeta tried to push the sunlight from his eyes. It couldn't be time to wake up, it was too early and he was too alone. He rolled over on the forest grass hoping to see Bulma next to him curled up against his muscled body. As he twisted to see her, she was not there, only a continuos line of trees. He groaned as he pressed himself up into a sitting position. His hair still unmoved like how he imagined his feelings were still unmoved. He secretly wondered how Bulma was doing right then. He secretly wondered if she cried and yearned for him like how he cried and yearned for her. He felt these feelings were just something she had forced him to have, but this pain of being away from her and watching her fall to her knees crying pained him so. They made him call out her name and lose his temper. And in a blinding rage caused him to leave all that he had ever felt so right in a pit of a garbage can. Tossing out the old trash and in with the new. But Bulma, she was and is special. *She was my angel, she was my heaven.* Vegeta knew if he were to ever die heaven would only be a figment of his imagination and it would just become a fiery hell, but being with Bulma was enough for him actually feel emotion, like happiness and if he could just be with her for a moment, that was enough for him.

Vegeta went out further into the woods to hunt for some food. He smirked as he remembered how he once dragged Bulma on one of his hunts and how she cringed as he licked the blood off of his glove. Quickly remembering it was because of her _witchcraft_ that he had run away he disregarded any of the happy times he spent with her as only times he had tried to scare her and continued on his hunt.

Bulma sat the kitchen table staring at an empty plate she pulled out that she had intended to put food on. She stared at it almost thinking that food would just magically appear on it. A tear fell onto her plate, salty and useless. She placed her finger on it feeling its wet residue on her finger. She balled her hand into a fist and smashed it into the plate shattering it to pieces. She stood up knocking her chair over having it crash into the wall. Spitting onto the broken pieces of the plate she yelled, "HAPPY! THAT IS WHAT MY HEART IS BASTARD!"

She fell back onto her knees crying. Her waves of anger and depression came at different intervals causing her to seem almost crazy to anyone who didn't understand her situation. She rocked herself back and forth like a baby wanting to feel his arms around her. Finally gaining her strength she stood up and walked outside to the gravity machine. Opening the door she stepped inside and closed the door locking it within. Seeing where the console was she walked over and began pressing buttons raising the gravity to four times that of earth. She felt the weight press down against her body crushing her silently onto the ground. It hurt her, it pained her to be crushed against the ground by the invisable force. Her tears felt like weights as they leaked out of her eyes and breathing became harder. *If this is how it has to be, then let it end this way.* She allowed her mind to wander to the times she was happy with Vegeta, "Goodbye."

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I guess that is how it's going to be   
How's it going to be

Vegeta tried to ignore the twinge in his heart as he ate his breakfast. But it grew and continued to grow as he tried to ignore it. His breath was beginning to feel short inside of him as he tried to pretend the feeling didn't exist. "Bulma…" he growled between his clenched teeth. She was dying, slowly, but was fading quickly. He could sense her life force leaving her and he began to worry. He couldn't feel her moving. She stayed wherever she was dying a painful death. He tried to ignore the feeling again but it was just too strong. Cursing to himself he jumped into the air and headed to her rescue. He could save her without her knowing, and that is what he intended to do.

Approaching Capsule Corporation he stepped into the empty house. Flashbacks bombarded him as he walked quietly into the house. He tried to find where her life force was coming from but it lead him to the backyard. Looking around he saw no sign of her but he did see that the gravity room on. Stepping close to it he saw Bulma sprawled on the floor close to death. His eyes flashed with fear as he pushed the door open. "WOMAN!" He yelled hoping she would hear him. Her eyes didn't open as she laid there in the chamber only four times that of earth's. Vegeta walked to the console and pushed off staring down at his mate. She didn't move or breath and Vegeta bent down to look at her. He placed two fingers on her neck where he assumed her pulse would be and found it, it was very weak. He picked her up and carried her into the house with his head down. Walking up to her bedroom he placed her on her bed and sat in a chair next to it. He felt compelled to just leave her there and leave and never return, but the feelings of yearning for her and wanting to hold her disappeared as she laid right in front of him. He shook his head in disgust of himself though he kept an emotionless face. It was his fault she had tried to kill herself. It was his fault she wanted to take her own life and the life of her and his child. He felt like a monster. He had killed and destroyed thousands of people and planets but he never felt shame. He never felt any sadness or remorse for what he did but the thought of him hurting Bulma in any way, intentionally or not, made him hurt so much. He stared at her weak form as her breathing finally became regular.

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When you don't know me, any more   
How's it going to be 

Bulma opened her eyes, she was alive. She felt her own sheets caress her body and the pillow against her head. *But who saved me?* Her ribs hurt and she could easily assume the gravity room incident and bruised some of her ribs, but who saved her? She turned around slowly to see Vegeta seating in a chair beside her bed with his head down in a light sleep. She almost smiled as she saw him, his beautifully shaped body was pleasing to the eye. When she looked at him she almost forgot about what he had done to her what he had caused to her. How he made her cry for hours and caused her pain. Her voice seemed weak and it caught in her throat as she tried to call his name. "Vegeta…" her voice was hoarse when she tried to call out to him. It seemed like eternity before he acknowledged her being awake and opened his eyes and started into hers, drowning like he did when he first looked into them. They stared at each other looking deep within the others. It was Bulma who first began to feel the tears in her eyes. They trickled down her face in a slow manner awaiting for someone to wipe them away. She breathed slightly for her ribs pained her to do anything a normal person should be able to do, but looking at Vegeta made her feel safe, though she wanted to hate him.

Vegeta felt hurt as her tears fell from her eyes. His saiyan honor refused to let him feel any remorse for her attempt of suicide but his heart wanted him to care. He reached out a hand to wipe the tears away to see Bulma close her eyes and shudder at his touch. Vegeta pulled his hand back and looked at her salty tears. *If she feels nothing for me, then why does she cry?* He was so confused, so misguided. He had given up all he had been taught in his life to show little compassion for a human woman but did she even appreciate him? Bulma opened her mouth to ask Vegeta a question. "Vegeta," she asked in a soft voice, "Why did you save me."

Vegeta stared at her through her tear before throwing it carelessly off his finger, "Because you would have died."

"That is what I intended to do… Errrrr…" Bulma cringed in pain as she tried to sit up, the bruise on her ribs forced her to lie back down.

Vegeta stared at her in wonder. He couldn't say he was sorry. "You are a stupid, woman."

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Want to get myself back in again,   
The soft dive of oblivion.

Bulma laid on her back, "I knew you would say that." Her voice was so emotionless and cold Vegeta could say nothing but sit and stare with his scowl.

"Would have even cared if I had died?" It was silent and uncomfortable for a while after she asked another question. She sighed, "Would have cared if your **own** child died?"

Silence greeted them. Vegeta turned his head away from Bulma trying to not feel their bond. "I would have done anything," Vegeta trailed off not wanting to complete the thought he said out loud.

Bulma twisted her head to hear the rest. "Done what?" she asked again.

"Anything to save you…" Vegeta turned away to leave but was held back as Bulma's arm shot out to grab him. He was much stronger than she and could easily have pulled away from her grip but he stopped in his tracks. "Let go of me woman." he demanded.

Bulma stared at him though cried out in agony as the pain deepened "Please don't go!"

Vegeta turned around and stared at her with his empty eyes. Empty of any emotion he should have been feeling. Now was the time that he should have gone over to her and hugged her and tell her that everything would be OK, but he couldn't even do that. "Vegeta, the child needs a father."

He shook his head in a helpless no, "I can't be a father."

"DAMN IT VEGETA! Why can't you just take responsibility for once!"

Vegeta looked down shamefully, "I'm, sorry." Bulma stared at him. How could he not tell that she needed him! How could he not see that he would cause her pain for going away!

"Vegeta, I tried to deny any feelings I had of you. I tried to deny that the only reason I slept with you was for lust. But it wasn't true! Don't you see! I love you! I love you so much." She tried to get up but only made it to her knees and then fell over in a fetal position gasping for air.

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Want to taste the salt of your skin   
The soft dive of oblivion 

Vegeta ran to her aid and pulled her close feeling her ragged breathing against him as he kept his face indifferent. Her tears ran from her eyes as she tried to sniff them back. "Please, just stay for a while."

He placed a hand in her hair and combed through it slowly hoping to calm her. "I would do anything for you."

Bulma sighed as she closed her eyes trying to ignore the pain in her ribs. He would stay, for a while.

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I guess that is how it's going to be   
How's it going to be…

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Third Eye Blind: How's It Going to Be

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Well that is the first song fic I've ever done. I hope you liked it. It took me a while to write it. OK, so a couple of hours, but I tried! So please be kind! Oh yeah, the sequel to Interesting is in the making, be patient!

Ja Ne! ~*~Laura~*~


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